How to Get What You Want - Really.
Big Goals, Small Tasks, New Stories
“What are you trying to do?’ my husband asks as I overtly start moving the furniture around the living room. After 32 years of marriage, I've learned that the best way for me to get help with my need to rearrange furniture is to wait until he is in eyeshot and start with the hardest, heaviest part of the move first.
He gets himself to the other end of the sofa. I smile. My hero.
“I’m trying a new layout,” I reply, attempting to keep it light, knowing he is wondering what was wrong with the other two layouts.
I explain "Trying out new arrangements is a way to get new life out of what we have, instead of buying something we really don’t need. Besides, I hate adding more “stuff” onto the planet."
Whether you are moving furniture around your living room or packing a suitcase, everything we do has both a task and a goal.
Moving furniture is the task. The goal is sustainability by improving the look and feel of the room without buying anything new.
The mistake most of us make in achieving big goals is that we consistently do things that are in direct conflict with the things that really matter. The goal.
Reply to urgent, not important texts and emails.
Say yes when we should have said no
Getting lost in the detail
Going for perfection nobody cares about but you
Wasting time on social media
In order to achieve your big goals, your tasks must connect, not contradict the goal.
So, why do we avoid doing the work that will take us closer to our goal?
Avoidance reveals a fear of taking the next step. We tell ourselves stories of why taking that next step and achieving the goal-getting is hard.
I don’t know how.
I might get it wrong.
Someone might not like it.
We need new stories that remind us how important our new goal is to ourselves and others.
For example, instead of "I don't know how", reframe it in a positive way.
"I will figure it out as I go. If I get stuck, I will ask for help"
If you have a goal that isn't happening or feels unattainable, ask yourself if what you are doing supports your goal or moves you further away from it.
Feel the fear of doing something new and do it anyway.
Enjoy the goal-getting journey. It is my favourite trip of all!
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